Monday, September 24, 2012

R'tzei

R'tzei Adonai Eloheinu b’amcha yisrael uvit’filatam, v’hasheiv et ha-avodah lidvir
beitecha [v’ishei yisrael] ut’filatam b’ahavah t’kabel b’ratzon, ut’hi l’ratzon tamid
avodat yisrael amecha. V’techezenah eineinu b’shuvcha l’tziyon b’rachamim. Baruch
Atah Adonai, hamachazir sh’chinato l’tziyon.

Accept, Adonai our God, your people Israel and their prayer. And restore the worship to
the inner sanctuary of Your house. [And the fires (offerings) of Israel] and their prayer in
love and favor receive willingly. And may the worship of Your people Israel be ever
acceptable to You. And turn our eyes again to see Your return in mercy to Zion. Blessed are
You, Adonai, who restores the Shechinah to Zion.

In my dreams,
I am at Temple Kol Ami,
At the concert heralding
The start of the High Holy Days.

On the stage stands
The songbird.
Eyes alight,
Her beautiful soprano
Rises up and out,
Washing over me in waves
That bring tears to my eyes.

The dream moves away from
The memories of that night,
And enters the realm of imagination.
The archer stands, walks,
And takes her place next to
The songbird on stage.
Her sweet contralto is a counterpoint,
An anchor against which
The songbird's soprano
Spirals, like the smoke of a burnt offering,
To the heavens.

I stare in bewilderment as,
From out of the shadows of stage right,
Adalheid joins the other two,
And a throaty baritone
Emerges from her lips.
The three strands of voices
Weave like a cord around me,
Enveloping my soul,
Singing in unison the message:

"Come home."

The R'tzei explodes out,
A kaleidoscope of praise and longing
Thundering to the rafters,
To the heavens,
Before the Throne of God.
I ride its wave
Up, and up, and ever up,
Weeping now,
Breaking in two,
Torn between
My own longings
And a compelling sense of duty.

Father,
Gideon asked for signs,
And you provided him several.
Please, I beg you,
Give me a sign.
Give me a few; I'm dense sometimes.
Signal to me
What are the right things to say and do
Moving forward.

The Heavenly Books are open, now, Father.
The decrees are being made for the year ahead:
"Who shall live, and who shall die.
Who shall be impoverished, and who shall be enriched.
Who shall fall and who shall rise. *
I feel the weight of the next few days upon me.
I feel the weight of my prayers and petitions,
My hopes and dreams and fears,
Rising up
Before Your Throne.

Father, guide my sister
Through this time.
Give her hope; grant her foresight to see through
To the other side of tomorrow.
Let her feel Your Presence,
Your Blessings,
Your Hand in motion upon her life.
You have upheld,
And continue to uphold me.
Grant the same to her.
Give her life, and strength, and
Meaning, and purpose,
And faith, and hope, and love.

Amen, Amen,
A thousand amens before Your Throne,
Restorer of Souls,
Healer of Wounds,
Into Whose Hands
We commit our lives...

* http://www.chabad.org/holidays/JewishNewYear/template_cdo/aid/4762/jewish/What-Is-Rosh-Hashanah.htm

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