Tears

O Lord, rebuke me not in thine anger, neither chasten me in thy hot displeasure. Have mercy upon me, O Lord; for I am weak: O Lord, heal me; for my bones are vexed. My soul is also sore vexed: but thou, O Lord, how long? Return, O Lord, deliver my soul: oh save me for thy mercies' sake. (Psalms 6:1-4)

The Aussie best summed it up

When we were speaking earlier in the week. 

She said,

"I feel that sometimes,

You want to go into a room

And scream and smash things."

Ah, how right she was!

That course of action

Is not an option. 

Lord,

People often view crying

As a sign of weakness. 

They think that, if you cry,

You're letting your emotions

Get the better of you. 

They think that you're not strong enough

To cope with the problems and perils

The universe throws your way. 

They couldn't be more wrong.

My tears mean,

"I am so messed up

Over this or that situation,

But despite that,

I must endure. 

My God will uphold me."

My tears mean that,

Despite the world's criticisms and judgments,

I will try to do

The right thing,

Even if all is lost. 

My tears mean that 

I know it's hard,

But I will do my best

To not be angry or upset or afraid,

For the sake of my loved ones. 

I offer my tears up to You,

My Lord God and King! 

Transform them into

Waters of patience,

And kindness,

And gentleness,

And steadfastness.

Hold me,

Hold me,

Most Merciful Father,

Please...

Relief / Release

Father,
A dam burst forth
Inside of me yesterday.

Purposeful omissions
Were thrown into
The light of day.

My unspoken fears and misgivings
Did not even closely resemble
The reality I was presented with.

I am so grateful
For the outcome.
I am so thankful
For the grace and gentleness
That embraced me.

What is it about me
That seeks to conceal and hide
Portions of my life?
Why do I think
I will cause outrageous offense,
And hurt,
And strife?

I'm still learning to live
An unfragmented life.
Help me, Father,
To learn to be unafraid...

Lies are the tools
Of the enemy's camp.
Strengthen me
To speak the truth... 

Dry

For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. (Hebrews 4:12)

O Lord, thou hast searched me, and known me...Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? (Psalms 139:1, 7)

In this wasteland

I pray for rain,

For living waters to quench

The dryness of my spirit. 

Conscious of sin,

I shrink from You, 

Evidenced by shallow prayers,

Lack of peace,

Restlessness, anxiety, 

And avoidance of Your Word. 

Stupid human! 

Where do I think I will go

And not encounter You?

You are the only cure for my dis-ease,

O Fountain of Living Waters!...