And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive. (Matthew 21:22, KJV)
I used to pray
For only large-scale solutions
To large-scale problems.
"Lord, please end world hunger."
"Lord, please bring about world peace."
My prayer life was
Infrequent and unfocused,
Ever projecting outwards
Because I hadn't yet learned
How to to ask
For God's help and favor
For myself.
I did not understand
The depths of intervention I would
Personally, directly need.
I didn't yet consider Him
My Heavenly Father...
Or consider all that a good father would do
To love and protect his child -
Even if that child had grievously erred. *
I could not grasp the idea that
The Creator of the universe
Took a tangible, personal interest
In me.
Several months ago
I was locked in a battle
With my classified computer system.
This happens often.
After a little persistent research
And playing with the system in
A test environment,
I usually win.
This time I was confronted
With something simple I couldn't research,
Because I didn't even know
What this feature was called.
I kept re-reading the manual
Hoping for a spark
To illumine my mind.
Nothing happened.
At a loss,
I desperately prayed.
"Lord, I know you're really busy,
And I don't like praying for
Things for myself,
But I'm under deadline,
And I have to figure this out
And I don't know what it's called
To find it
To fix it.
You know all things,
Even the workings of my classified computer system.
(This thought stunned me, even as I prayed it -
Why hadn't I ever realized that before?)
Can you please help me
Find the switch, or rule, or
Whatever will make this thing work?
PLEASE?"
I left work very late that night,
Utterly spent,
And too grumpy to trust
In any forthcoming, divinely-initiated answers.
I fell asleep,
Tasting defeat,
Wondering what the next day would bring.
During my morning rigamarole,
Illumination came.
In my mind's eye,
I saw the page from the manual
That I needed.
I suddenly knew what
I was looking for.
The switch, or rule,
Or whatever would make my project work
Had been revealed to me.
My friends thought I was nuts
When I told them what happened.
I did not care;
In the pit of my soul,
I knew that
He had planted that knowledge in me.
My post-mini-miracle prayer of thanksgiving to God
Went something like this:
"Lord, THANK YOU for revealing that information to me."
"I am the Maker of the Universe.
I do understand what's happening in it
Better than anyone else."
Pause.
"Lord, what are you saying?"
"I'm saying that perhaps if you
Turned to Me more often,
More of your needs would be fulfilled."
Pause.
"But Lord, I don't want to bother you."
Pause.
"This is a pride thing, isn't it?" He asked.
The question hung in the air between us.
Before I could answer, He continued:
"It's common.
People think they can solve everything on their own,
Or that they're bothering Me
If they ask for My Help for themselves.
If people are so capable of doing everything for themselves -
Of saving themselves, per se -
Why did I send My Son
To die for them?"
I stood convicted.
I offered no answer.
I fell silent,
And pondered
My God-ward reticence.
I've gotten better
At both initiating the dialogue,
And listening for the answer
From my Maker.
And I've gotten alot better
At turning to Him
For my everyday troubles and crises.
"Lord, I locked myself out of the house...
With the dogs.
Can you make it so that
My landlord is sitting downstairs,
With the front door open,
As he sometimes does?"
When I got back to the house,
My landlord was sitting outside,
And the front door was unlocked.
"Lord, I forgot the bags to pick up after the dogs.
Could you give me one at least?"
In a few minutes, I found
An empty, black plastic bag,
Which wouldn't be strange to find
On a Bensonhurst sidewalk,
Except that this was after Hurricane Irene,
And the streets had been blown free of trash debris.
"Lord, I forgot my breakfast on the piano,
And we both know I don't have any money on me.
Um... Is there any way you can
Give me breakfast?"
That morning,
A coworker who has never offered
To share her breakfast with me
Suddenly asked me
If I would split half of an
Egg white and tomato sandwich.
I gratefully accepted,
While my spirit sang praises
To My Father who literally fed me.
"Lord, I don't have the utility bill money
Because I paid a huge vet bill.
I don't know what to do here.
Please help me with this."
Over coffee, Adalheid suddenly asked me
"You just paid that huge vet bill.
Do you have money for your other bills?"
I didn't lie. I told her "no."
By the end of the conversation,
She had given me several hundred dollars,
And I humbly took it,
Awed by the subtle powers
Of My God.
I used to pray
For only large-scale solutions
To large-scale problems.
"Lord, please end world hunger."
"Lord, please bring about world peace."
There's nothing wrong with praying
For these noble causes,
But we're missing the point entirely
If that's all we're praying for.
God is a god of our every day,
Every moment existence,
The eternal I AM
Who desires for us to
Thoughtfully, prayerfully,
Personally, frequently
Seek Him...
Eli,
Abba...
Be ever before me.
Grow my prayer life,
To the praise and glory
Of Your Holy Name!
* For the most beloved example of this in the New Testament, read Luke 15:11-32
I used to pray
For only large-scale solutions
To large-scale problems.
"Lord, please end world hunger."
"Lord, please bring about world peace."
My prayer life was
Infrequent and unfocused,
Ever projecting outwards
Because I hadn't yet learned
How to to ask
For God's help and favor
For myself.
I did not understand
The depths of intervention I would
Personally, directly need.
I didn't yet consider Him
My Heavenly Father...
Or consider all that a good father would do
To love and protect his child -
Even if that child had grievously erred. *
I could not grasp the idea that
The Creator of the universe
Took a tangible, personal interest
In me.
Several months ago
I was locked in a battle
With my classified computer system.
This happens often.
After a little persistent research
And playing with the system in
A test environment,
I usually win.
This time I was confronted
With something simple I couldn't research,
Because I didn't even know
What this feature was called.
I kept re-reading the manual
Hoping for a spark
To illumine my mind.
Nothing happened.
At a loss,
I desperately prayed.
"Lord, I know you're really busy,
And I don't like praying for
Things for myself,
But I'm under deadline,
And I have to figure this out
And I don't know what it's called
To find it
To fix it.
You know all things,
Even the workings of my classified computer system.
(This thought stunned me, even as I prayed it -
Why hadn't I ever realized that before?)
Can you please help me
Find the switch, or rule, or
Whatever will make this thing work?
PLEASE?"
I left work very late that night,
Utterly spent,
And too grumpy to trust
In any forthcoming, divinely-initiated answers.
I fell asleep,
Tasting defeat,
Wondering what the next day would bring.
During my morning rigamarole,
Illumination came.
In my mind's eye,
I saw the page from the manual
That I needed.
I suddenly knew what
I was looking for.
The switch, or rule,
Or whatever would make my project work
Had been revealed to me.
My friends thought I was nuts
When I told them what happened.
I did not care;
In the pit of my soul,
I knew that
He had planted that knowledge in me.
My post-mini-miracle prayer of thanksgiving to God
Went something like this:
"Lord, THANK YOU for revealing that information to me."
"I am the Maker of the Universe.
I do understand what's happening in it
Better than anyone else."
Pause.
"Lord, what are you saying?"
"I'm saying that perhaps if you
Turned to Me more often,
More of your needs would be fulfilled."
Pause.
"But Lord, I don't want to bother you."
Pause.
"This is a pride thing, isn't it?" He asked.
The question hung in the air between us.
Before I could answer, He continued:
"It's common.
People think they can solve everything on their own,
Or that they're bothering Me
If they ask for My Help for themselves.
If people are so capable of doing everything for themselves -
Of saving themselves, per se -
Why did I send My Son
To die for them?"
I stood convicted.
I offered no answer.
I fell silent,
And pondered
My God-ward reticence.
I've gotten better
At both initiating the dialogue,
And listening for the answer
From my Maker.
And I've gotten alot better
At turning to Him
For my everyday troubles and crises.
"Lord, I locked myself out of the house...
With the dogs.
Can you make it so that
My landlord is sitting downstairs,
With the front door open,
As he sometimes does?"
When I got back to the house,
My landlord was sitting outside,
And the front door was unlocked.
"Lord, I forgot the bags to pick up after the dogs.
Could you give me one at least?"
In a few minutes, I found
An empty, black plastic bag,
Which wouldn't be strange to find
On a Bensonhurst sidewalk,
Except that this was after Hurricane Irene,
And the streets had been blown free of trash debris.
"Lord, I forgot my breakfast on the piano,
And we both know I don't have any money on me.
Um... Is there any way you can
Give me breakfast?"
That morning,
A coworker who has never offered
To share her breakfast with me
Suddenly asked me
If I would split half of an
Egg white and tomato sandwich.
I gratefully accepted,
While my spirit sang praises
To My Father who literally fed me.
"Lord, I don't have the utility bill money
Because I paid a huge vet bill.
I don't know what to do here.
Please help me with this."
Over coffee, Adalheid suddenly asked me
"You just paid that huge vet bill.
Do you have money for your other bills?"
I didn't lie. I told her "no."
By the end of the conversation,
She had given me several hundred dollars,
And I humbly took it,
Awed by the subtle powers
Of My God.
I used to pray
For only large-scale solutions
To large-scale problems.
"Lord, please end world hunger."
"Lord, please bring about world peace."
There's nothing wrong with praying
For these noble causes,
But we're missing the point entirely
If that's all we're praying for.
God is a god of our every day,
Every moment existence,
The eternal I AM
Who desires for us to
Thoughtfully, prayerfully,
Personally, frequently
Seek Him...
Eli,
Abba...
Be ever before me.
Grow my prayer life,
To the praise and glory
Of Your Holy Name!
* For the most beloved example of this in the New Testament, read Luke 15:11-32
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