On Loan (aka The Steward)

Father,
You have been pursuing me 
For several days now,
Trying to teach me something
Through my aging cat. 
She has been suffering since Wednesday
And I have teetered on 
The brink of despair,
Facing decisions 
I do not wish to make.

I looked up the word "beasts"
In the concordance,
And was confronted by the following verses
From Psalm 50: 
"For every beast of the forest is mine, 
the cattle on a thousand hills.
I know all the birds of the hills, 
and all that moves in the field is mine."*

I've been thinking about these lines
For several days,
And last night
When I was talking
With You and the cat,
I remembered the parable 
Of the talents 
In Matthew 25. 

Everything I have
Is on loan from You.
I am nothing less
And nothing more
Than a steward
Of all You have given me. 
Every pet in my care,
Every family member,
Friend,
Resource,
Talent, 
Gift - 
Everything,
Everything! -
Is on loan
From You. 
Anything I possess
Is temporary,
Until it leaves me, 
Or I leave it.
You alone
Have the power
To recall it all. 

Lord, my God,
Don't let me be wasteful 
Of all you have blessed me with!
Don't let me 
Bury a talent of gold in the field
For fear of You,
Or fear of disappointing You.
Let me cherish
And embrace
And care for
And love
Every piece
And every pet
And every person
In my wacky life. 
Give me peace of mind
And trust in You. 
Take from me 
My anxiousness
And worry,
And the illusion of control
I try so desperately
To bury myself in. 
Give me discernment
To make the right decisions,
Decisions in line with
Your Will. 
Give me discernment to see
When a situation 
Is totally out of my hands,
And resting in Yours. 

The cat told me 
It wasn't yet time. 
I left it up to You,
Brought her to the vet
(I couldn't allow the suffering to continue!)
And am now on my way
To bring her home. 

I understand now
That she is Yours
Before she is mine. 
Indeed...
I am Yours
Before I am mine. 
It's all on loan,
Because it all stems
From You. 
Build me up to be
A strong, faithful steward,
My God...
That I may yield
Pleasing firstfruits
To the praise and glory
Of Your Name!

* v. 10-11