Seek Ye First

Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. (Matthew 6:31-33, KJV)

I have chafed
At my life
These many months,
Imagining that I must
Find a different mode of living
In order to find
Purpose and meaning.
I have questioned my job.
I have questioned where I ought to live,
Both now and in the future.
I have wrestled with my singleness,
All that it means -
And doesn't mean -
For my future.
I kept thinking,
"If only I can find a way to
Change this -
Fix this -
Alter this -
I will find
Purpose and meaning,
And I will be
At peace."

Sometimes Holy Writ
Plants itself in our souls,
And slowly blossoms out,
Bearing the Fruit of Life.
Sometimes it happens so slowly,
So imperceptibly,
That we don't even know it's there
Until we pause
And feel a lightening
In the weight of our hearts.

For months,
"Seek ye first the Kingdom of Heaven"
Has been traversing my mind.
It explodes in my brain
Upon waking
(Good morning Lord. Guide me today.)
While having coffee with Adalheid
(Lord, make her day with her momma go easy.)
While walking the dogs
(Lord, watch over the dogs as they protect the house and wait for me to come home.)
While on the train commuting
(Lord, that person is having a bad morning. I can just tell. Please comfort her; draw her closer to You.)
When my boss the Aussie is talking to me
(Lord, let me learn from the Aussie's words, rather than reacting emotionally to them.)
When I am wrestling with the computer system
(Lord, why can't I get this to work? Show me what I'm missing.)
When I am interacting with my coworkers
(Lord, give me patience, so that I don't snap at someone... Because I really want to give it to someone right now!)
While I am doing dishes
(Lord, thank you for food for me and the pets.)
While I am food shopping
(Lord, provide for those who can't afford the luxury of supermarket shopping.)
Before I go to sleep
(Lord, thank you for getting me through today.)
And countless other times
Throughout the day.

In trying to seek
The Kingdom of Heaven -
In trying to put it first
Before all other things -
I more actively feel
The workings of God
In my life.
I better glean meaning
From the day-to-day interconnectedness
That binds my life to others'.
I no longer need to seek elsewhere

To find purpose and meaning.  

My life is not broken, 

That it needs changes and fixes and alterations.
My way consists of finding purpose and meaning
Within Him,
Within my life
As it is now.
In seeking first the Kingdom of Heaven,
Everything else will naturally
Fall into place.
In seeking first the Kingdom of Heaven,
Peace within germinates;
I have tasted
Holy Rest.

Lord,
Continue to abide in my
Day-to-day.
Teach me how to
Abide in You.
Bring the Kingdom
One more step
Closer to earth
Through your work
In me...