Out of Touch

Two months ago today,
I returned to New York.
This has been the longest I have been away
From Adalheid's family in three years,
And from Adalheid herself in six, almost seven.

I sorely feel the disconnect
From my Arizona life in its entirety.
There's a drop-off point in my head
Where the Blanca living this alternative existence
Is somehow disjointed from the Blanca
Who lived in Arizona for six months.

Scattered, scattered...
Too many lives being led simultaneously,
And nothing ever in cohesion.
My "filing system," as Adalheid calls it,
Has sustained some heavy hits.
I have been altered by my time spent here.
I feel much heavier in my internal headspace. 

Every action has consequences.
Father,
Let the path I have walked,
And the good I have tried to do here in New York
Not negatively impact
The life I long to lead in Arizona...