A and B

A, A sharp, and B
The notes on the big bells
That I suddenly find myself
Playing in bell choir

The suggestion to join
Came from three different sources,
So I took that to mean
That maybe this was something
You wanted me to do.

Of course.
MORE involvement in the church,
So that now when I want to flee,
I can't, right?

A and B.
A is for...
Aberration - I feel like one right now
Abomination - judgment pronounced against many behaviors,
Including the thoughts in my head
Angry - yes, I'm that, specifically at You
Agitated - yes, I'm that, also at You
Arrogant - yes, I suppose, based on me even
Having this kind of dialogue with You.

B is for...
Broken - how I feel inside right now
Bound - tied up in things I don't know
How to break free of
Beaten up - see broken, above
Beleaguered - too many years of struggling
With this inner demon
Beaten - I'm done. I'm just... done.

...

A is for...
Abundant - the kind of life You have promised us.

B is for...
Blessed - to be called a child of the Most High and Holy God

A and B,
Chiming in my head,
Ringing death knells,
And songs of deliverance...