By Another Way

Kid sister,
Why do you have to make it
So hard for me
To talk to you?
Your anger flares
Hot and heavy,
Threatening to consume you.

I see Mommie's strain
Of jealousy
And possessiveness
Stamped across your personality.
I wonder how it will impact
The rest of your life,
And who else you will alienate
Because of it.

I hear her controlling, guilt-producing tirades
Coming forth from you.
I hear all the litanies
Of sins I've committed
Pouring out from your lips,
Ever asking the question
"How could you do this?"
You accuse me
Of not thinking for myself,
But I see you trapped
In the old, unhealthy ways.

We have learned such different lessons
Over the course of the years.

Yesterday morning,
I sat with other members
Of my congregation,
Discussing the significance
Of the Magi returning to their country
By another way.
They had encountered
The Messiah
And were traveling home
After having been transformed
By their Divine Encounter.

Somehow,
I must do the same with you,
Because home resides, in part,
With you.
You and I are the only two left
Of our immediate family.
You and I are the only ones
Who can remember
The beauty, and strength,
And wisdom, and wit
Of our parents.
You and I are the ones
Bound together by family ties
That you now threaten to sever.

I am retracing
The journey of the Magi,
Finding a way home to you
Not back by the way I came,
But through forward momentum,
And difficult decisions,
Navigating the treacherous minefield
Of guilt and derision and fury
That you place before me.

Father,
I am deeply troubled
As I embark.
Reconcile us,
My Lord and King,
And show me
The other way
That I must now follow...