God,
I am so angry right now.
So SO SO angry.
I feel so upset
And embarrassed
And violated
That I am trembling
In my flesh
With the weight
Of unexpressed emotions.
I want to retaliate.
I want to strike back.
I want to tell that man that
"This is the reason why
Messed up things always happen to you."
And
"How dare you go ballistic
And freak out on someone,
And embarrass the hell out of me
And make me feel three inches tall."
And
"You know how you're going to wind up?
Bitter and alone,
Because no one will put up
With your bullshit for forever."
Even worse than all that,
There is a part of me
That wants to call down on You
To smite him
And crush him
And turn everything that he ever touches
Into dust.
If he had such a huge problem with me
He should have addressed me about it
In a civilized manner,
Not gone crazy at someone else!!!
God,
You are big enough
To absorb everyone's anger
And unspoken desire for revenge,
So start with mine first,
Because I know if I address him
In the next four hours,
I'm going to explode or cry,
And I don't want to do either.
It was only by Your Grace
That he poked his head into my room
While I was on the phone with work
And he decided to leave me alone,
So I'm going to ask You to keep providing
Those escapes for me
Until I'm more normal.
I also don't want You to do anything to him.
That's just my anger and hurt talking.
That's not Your Son,
Who turned around and forgave the world
For crucifying Him...
Anointed One,
I don't know how to love like that.
I don't know how to forgive like that.
Show me. Teach me. Remind me.
Tim Keller.
HA HA is that how You're going to remind me,
Make me remember what I read
From The Reason for God?
"...God's grace and forgiveness, while free to the recipient, are always costly for the giver.... From the earliest parts of the Bible, it was understood that God could not forgive without sacrifice. No one who is seriously wronged can "just forgive" the perpetrator.... But when you forgive, that means you absorb the loss and the debt. You bear it yourself. All forgiveness, then, is costly.”
Anointed One,
I'm really struggling with this one.
Help me, please,
To strike the balance
Between letting go of my anger,
And not being a human doormat...
I am so angry right now.
So SO SO angry.
I feel so upset
And embarrassed
And violated
That I am trembling
In my flesh
With the weight
Of unexpressed emotions.
I want to retaliate.
I want to strike back.
I want to tell that man that
"This is the reason why
Messed up things always happen to you."
And
"How dare you go ballistic
And freak out on someone,
And embarrass the hell out of me
And make me feel three inches tall."
And
"You know how you're going to wind up?
Bitter and alone,
Because no one will put up
With your bullshit for forever."
Even worse than all that,
There is a part of me
That wants to call down on You
To smite him
And crush him
And turn everything that he ever touches
Into dust.
If he had such a huge problem with me
He should have addressed me about it
In a civilized manner,
Not gone crazy at someone else!!!
God,
You are big enough
To absorb everyone's anger
And unspoken desire for revenge,
So start with mine first,
Because I know if I address him
In the next four hours,
I'm going to explode or cry,
And I don't want to do either.
It was only by Your Grace
That he poked his head into my room
While I was on the phone with work
And he decided to leave me alone,
So I'm going to ask You to keep providing
Those escapes for me
Until I'm more normal.
I also don't want You to do anything to him.
That's just my anger and hurt talking.
That's not Your Son,
Who turned around and forgave the world
For crucifying Him...
Anointed One,
I don't know how to love like that.
I don't know how to forgive like that.
Show me. Teach me. Remind me.
Tim Keller.
HA HA is that how You're going to remind me,
Make me remember what I read
From The Reason for God?
"...God's grace and forgiveness, while free to the recipient, are always costly for the giver.... From the earliest parts of the Bible, it was understood that God could not forgive without sacrifice. No one who is seriously wronged can "just forgive" the perpetrator.... But when you forgive, that means you absorb the loss and the debt. You bear it yourself. All forgiveness, then, is costly.”
Anointed One,
I'm really struggling with this one.
Help me, please,
To strike the balance
Between letting go of my anger,
And not being a human doormat...
No comments:
Post a Comment