Lord,
I have often seen
My relationship with You
Reflected in
My relationship with my boss,
The Aussie.
I used to interrupt her
With irritating frequency.
I felt the need
To explain
Every word or action
Escaping me.
I would offer excuses
And justifications
For every project unfinished,
Every mistake surfaced,
And every task left undone.
I would brood and dwell
On my own lack of understanding.
I chafed beneath the
Level of expectation,
And more than once contemplated
Walking away.
We both know
I treated You in like manner.
When I would go home
And cry out of sheer frustration,
Against my will
I would recall a conversation
I'd had with her.
I don't remember the context,
But she said this one line -
"But I'm just a little girl! -"
And even though she was joking,
It was like You were there
Standing next to me, saying,
"I brought her here
Just as I brought you here.
She began this part
Of her journey alone.
Help her.
Serve her
As you would Me."
My heart lurched violently
Beneath the weight
Of what Your Spirit spoke to me.
I did not wish to feel as I did,
But You put it there.
I have wrestled
With Your command
Ever since.
I can tell You
That the lessons
I have learned from her,
Albeit business in nature,
Are manifestations
Of spiritual barriers
That I needed to cross.
I have learned
To stop asking
So many questions
And take it on faith
That someone else
Is more competent than I.
I have learned
That there is a larger picture
Beyond what I see,
And that the one who sees that
Can be trusted to do the right thing
For all parties concerned.
I have learned
That wounded pride
Is a sign of self-pity,
And needs to be purged
Out of one's self fast!
I have learned
That honesty is the best policy,
That time is too precious a commodity
To be wasted on nonsense,
That knowing when to take a break
Is just as valuable a skill
As knowing when to push
A project through to completion.
I have learned the importance
Of communication,
And accountability,
And co-operation,
And open-mindedness.
I've learned more professionally
These past three years
Than in the preceding fourteen,
And I am grateful for the tutelage.
Lord,
The Aussie tells me
To trust the Universe.
I know that You are the Universe...
That You are everywhere,
Sustaining my life and being.
Even though I perceive You
In glimpses and flashes -
Even though now I am encumbered
By flesh and bone and sinew -
I trust, and know
That a time is coming
When You will not use others
To reach me.
Until that day, Lord,
Speak with me as You will.
Help me see You
On the other side
Of the darkened glass...
Sent from my iPhone
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