In Search of... Reconciliation

"Sister,
For all the days of my life,
I will always have
Only one sister,
And that is you.

I don't want to not talk anymore.
It is silly,
And life is way too short
To carry on anger and/or resentments.

I have not been
A perfect sister or daughter,
And I have many regrets
Over the stupid things
Done and not done.
For what it is worth,
Please know that whatever I have done -
Damage that I have cause to our relationship -
It has not been done out of malice.
Lots of other thoughts and emotions
Have influenced my actions,
But never a desire
To consciously hurt or alienate you.
I want you to know that,
And believe it.

I will leave it up to you for right now
If you want to talk,
But I really do hope
That we can start talking again.
I miss you,
And despite what you think
Or how you feel,
I do love you."

The envelope is sealed.
I'm riding to the post office after work,
And sending it off.

I had to write to her.
I feel like a dam is bursting
Somewhere deep inside of me.

Lord, please...
I do not want to spend
The rest of my days
Leading a fragmented life.
I conducted myself like that
With my parents.
At the time,
And under the circumstances,
I thought that was
The only way.
I don't want to now do
The same thing with my sister.

I'm open, Lord.
I don't know if I'm ready,
But at least I'm open.
Make her receptive, Lord.
Make her feel that,
She too,
Wants to pick up the phone...